WRENCHER
"ONLY THE STRONG,
SMART
AND FAST
SURVIVE"©
THIS IS A TRUE STORY,
ONLY
THE PLACES, NAMES AND ACTION
HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT
by Harvey "Gizmo"
Rosenberg
WRENCHER(def):
WRENCHER(n),
(1) Man who loves to work on cars,
motorcycles or trucks, (2) wheeled artisan, (3) poet of the asphalt, (4)
Man who has motor oil in his veins, (5) connoisseur of wheeled beauty
There are as many Wrenchers in America
as there are men and boys who love cars, because beauty is truth, and
truths loves to do 0-60 in 4 seconds.
CARS ARE MUCH MORE THAN MACHINES:
They are
tribal totems, religions, palaces of love, tribal totems,
magic charms, time machines, transportation to higher dimensions of being,
scared temples, musical instruments, definers of meaning and the American
way of life, and nothing burns the wholey rubber of life better at stoplights
on a summer Saturday night.
WRENCHER ENERGY: Is that enormous
glowing glob of energy that shines around automobile passion...the energy
that flows from millions of dreams that are filled with cars...as they
should be. Who doesnt dream the dream of their dream car?
Cars are important tribal totems, and define truth,
beauty and the American way of life. They are our favorite way of artifying
our lives. Wrencher is more than profound advice on creating and selecting
beaudacious wheeled totems, it is also an action adventure story filled
with the spills, chills and thrills that carmaniacs love. How big is our
love of cars? It is America's biggest industry and tribal activity. Our
goal here is to help you find, or, create a car, that is your Temple
of the Wholey Highway.
We are in the midst of a Wrencher re-evolution
because we need more primal beaudacity on the open road, and four wheeled
computerized jelly-beans with air bags don't satisfy our soul. Are cars
an important arena for male tool competition? Grunt YES if you want to
drive a car that can go from 0-60 in 4 seconds
- Americas largest fan group
- Americas first car super-heroes
- A Person who has motor oil in their veins
- A wheeled artisan, poets of the asphalt
- A Person who loves wheeled machines
CARS ARE MUCH MORE
THAN MACHINES
They are religions, vessels of dreams, initiators
of young men, palaces of love, tribal totems, magic charms, time machines,
transportation to higher dimensions of being, scared temples, musical
instruments, definers of meaning and the American way of life, and nothing
burns the Wholey Rubber of Life better at stoplights on a summer
Saturday night to the rock & roll of life.
WRENCHER POWER:
Is that enormous glowing glob of red, white and blue, high horsepower
energy that shines around automobile passion...the energy that flows from
millions of dreams that are filled with cars...as they should be.
WE love cars, because beauty is truth, and truths
loves to do 0-60 in 4 seconds.....and that
means WE are millions.
CHARACTERS
(partial)
Cam Wrencher: Our hero. Youngest
member of Wrencher family. 24 years old. Desperately wants to be a champion
racer like his father. who disappeared 20 years ago. No matter how hard
he tries something always goes wrong. Has powerful dreams that he doesnt
understand in which experiences the past and higher dimensions of racing
reality. Will lead the familys race team. Eventually discovers that
his father is in racing Hyperspace and is able to make contact with him
in his dreams. Battles evil Dr. Snafu. Learns from father and Gonzo how
to race in HyperSpace.
Grandpa Wrencher: In charge
of the Wrencher Family Garage and is trying to help Cam deal with the
turmoil of his life. Has got great stories to tell about past racing masters.
The Wrencher Brothers: Have responsibility
for the top secret Wrencher Brigade. Speedo is killed on a mission, leaving
Tork in charge.
Wind in Face: Apache Racing Techno-Shaman
who guides Cam on vision quests so he can discover his WHOLEY RACING UNITY;
Takes Cam back in time and lets him discover the racing skills of
the ancients. Was his fathers teacher.
Axelroad Wrencher: Cams father,
who 20 years ago, first encounters GONZO an ExtraTerrestial UFO/hot rod
racer at Rozwell while he was on the way to a drag race in California.
Gonzo lets him drive the UFO/racer in a race in racing hyper-space and
Axleroad is told that he can not go back to earth because his knowledge
of higher dimension of racing will cause chaos all over the world. Becomes
his family protective spirit....and watches Cam very closely. Only Axelroad
can snafu Dr. Snafu.
Dr. Snafu: Master of chaos,
destruction and everything that ever goes wrong with cars. This evil man
is trying to wipe out the Wrencher Clan. Doesnt know that Axelroad
is in racing hyperspace, and thinks he killed him. Kills Speedo Wrencher
in a Wrencher Brigade raid to rescue the Vice President.
Angelina: Axelroad sends this awesome
beaudacious babe to earth as Cams guardian angel. She is in her
own right a skilled racer. They fall in love. She is constantly wrestling
with whether she should tell Cam about his father who art in racing heaven.
Sirena: Works for Dr, Snafu. This
awesome bad to bone babe is trying to seduce/sabotage Cam and get him
to loose his focus. Competes with Angelina for both Cams attention
and on the race track. She is falling in love with Cam.
General Steward: 20 years ago he
tried to have Axelroad Wrencher assassinated because he thought he was
a spy. Knows that Axelroad is in racing hyper-space because Axelroad is
feeding him the secrets of hyper-dimensional race cars that he is using
in the vehicles that are being designed for the Wrencher Brigade.
Gonzo: Axelroads ExtraTerrestial
racing bro
Motorhead:
The ExtraTerrestial motor tuner whose head is in the shape of a motor.
WRENCHER ACTION
SCENE 1:
The screen is black. We hear the deafening roar of a pride of saber tooth
cats
The big red sun begins to rise on the screen
and we see a prairie teeming with game, and as we zoom in we see a group
of about ten humans picking at the bones of a dead animal. It is 200,000
BC.
Hidden in the grass, and watching these
puny humans picking at the bones is a pride of saber tooth cats, and they
begin to edge forward, while licking their lips. We see their huge teeth.
With another deafening roar they leap out of grass and start chasing the
humans who are running at top speed in terror.
We see a saber tooth tiger run and leap
onto the back of one running human and sink its teeth into its skull.
We hear the crack of skull and the screams. We see more of the Saber Tooths
catching humans and sinking their teeth into their skulls....we hear the
crack of the skulls and the scream. We see the flesh being ripped..
One young male human is running in terror
and we see the cat about to catch him and leaps, and at exactly that moment
the human suddenly disappears. He has fallen into a crevice.
The sun is about to set and we see two hands
on the edge of the crevice and see a bloodied terrified face peer over
the edge and look around. We see the saber tooth cats finishing their
meal of what was a clan of humans and begin to walk off. Our terrified
survivor, shaking in terror, crawls out of the crevice and walks around
and looks at the remains of his family.
SCENE 2: The screen goes black and
we hear a human scream.
Up jumps the face of Cam Wrencher, our 24
year old hero, who has just woken up from a recurring nightmare. Cam is
shaking all over and stumbles out of bed and walks over to his dresser
and looks at the old brown photographs of his father holding his trophies,
standing next to his race cars.
Screen goes black and we hear a roar (the
sound of the saber tooth cat mixed into the sound of race engine)
It is night and we see Cam in his race car
and he is racing around a track as fast as he can. We see a gnarled hand
throw a switch "SNAFU" and then we see Cams car start
to slide sideways through the curve, crash into the wall, start turning
over and over and landing in the midfield, upside down.
SCENE 3: We see a tow truck bring
Cams wrecked car into the WRENCHER FAMILY GARAGE. Grandpa Wrencher
signs for it.
We are now in the top secret garage of THE
WRENCHER BRIGADE. We see big strong muscular men welding, hammering and
covered with grease..building awesome new military vehicles. Grandpa Wrencher
walks over to three men, the older Wrencher Brothers, and beckons them
to the office.
"Boys we are having a real problem
with Cam. Last night he broke the lock at the track and decided to practice,
wrecked his car and almost killed himself...and I dont know what
to do. He wants so desperately to be champion like his father, but he
keeps on screwing up.
Tork Wrencher, speaks...."We know.
We have all tried, but there is a demon in him and it is going to kill
him.....maybe it is time to send him to WIND IN FACE.
We see Cam limping into the Wrencher Garage.
There is a bandage around his head. He looks at his wrecked car and Grandpa
walks over to him. There are tears in Cams eyes, and he says, "Will
I ever be a champion like my father?" and he puts his arms around
Grandpa and starts crying....."Will I ever know what happened to
my father...why did he disappear?"
SCENE 4: FLASHBACK TO 1980 WHICH
EXPLAINS AXELROADS DISAPPEARANCE: Axelroad Wrencher and his friend
Mike are hauling their "funny car" drag racer across America
to drag race in California and they decide to camp out on a beautiful
star filled night in Rozwell, New Mexico. While they are sitting around
their camp fire, they hear a gigantic roar pass them and they see a bright
light streak across the sky and a hear loud crash in the desert very near
their camp fire. They are terrified but they run over the crash site and
they see a space ship with the tail fins of a 1956 Cadillac....but
it looks more like a hot rod than a space ship. Axelroad and Mike hide
in the bushes and see the space ships trunk lid open and watch as
man who looks very human wearing an aluminum fabric mechanics jump
suit walk towards them. He walks right up to the Wrencher brothers, who
are stiff with terror, and asks, "Do you have a spare 3/4 inch wrench?".
The Wrencher brothers discover that they
have just witnessed the worlds first ExtraTerrestrial racing accident.
GONZO, the driver of the hot rod from outer space lost control
of his race/UFO, while traveling around the fourth curve at the annual
HYPERDIMENSION 5,00O,000 RACE, at near the speed of light, hit
a hyperspace hot rod, that was broken down, and crashed through the time/space
continuum and into the three dimensional desert of New Mexico on June
6. 1998.
Gonzo walks over to Axelroads funny
car and checks it out and remarks that he used to love to race funny cars
on earth a few light years ago and misses the excitement. Gonzo tells
the Wrencher Brothers that in Hot Rod HyperSpace you can travel back and
forth to different time quadrixes and to higher dimensions of racing reality,
and race in all of them. Gonzo asks the Wrencher brothers if they would
like to try some eight dimensional hot rodding, and offers them a trip
in his Time Rod...if they will help him fix it so it can fly back home
to Hot Rod HyperSpace.
Gonzo and his new friends head off to California
to race and gather the parts they need from high tech aerospace companies
to fix his Time Rod. Gonzo helps with the drag races and teaches Axelroad
and Mike some engine tweaks from hot rod hyperspace..... so they win all
the races. They travel around and start buying very high tech aerospace
parts to fix the Time Rod.
We notice at a computer terminal in the
Pentagon a huddle of men discussing the computer print out..... General
Steward says, "These parts were purchased by a group known as The
Wrencher Brothers Racing Team, and they must be a cover up for a
spy ring which is trying to duplicate our experiments with magnetic pulse
modulation propulsion". General Steward says, "Send Colonel
Wright to deal with this" , and out steps an outrageous military
babe who snaps a salute, and says, " Im ready" .
Axelroad, Mike and Gonzo, after winning
every race possible are driving back through the Rocky Mountains, back
to where Gonzos Time Rod is so they can fix it, and as they are
driving down a steep mountain road we see a sniper, in the form of Colonel
Wright, take aim and fire and The Wrencher Brothers Truck swerves
out of control and sail off the edge of the cliff into an exploding fireball.
As Axelroad opens his eyes and realizes
that he is in a very strange place he see his companion the first thing
he says is..."How did you get us out of there?". Gonzo says..."that
is how we avoid getting speeding tickets in Hot Rod HyperSpace...we duck
into other dimension of reality for a couple of minutes until...the Hyperfuzz™
passes us by, and then we pop back".
We see our heroes pop back into normal earth
reality carry a big box of parts towards the Time Rod.
We see the Time Rod being repaired and ready
to blast off. Everyone puts on their safety belt. Gonzo revs the engine
and selects the sound he likes best, and squirts the aroma of burning
rubber into the cockpit and puts the pedal to the floor..with the scream
of ten trillion horsepower the Time Rod burns cosmic space/time rubber
and is shooting down the freeways of Hot Rod Hyperspace.
Axelroad asks Gonzo if he can take the control
of the Time Rod, and he suggests that he if he hurries he can make the
starting line of the 1914 Pikes Peak Race, or if he prefers he can enter
the 1938 Indy 500, or would he prefer to enter the Four Dimensional Drags,
or the Cosmic Worm Hole German Grand Prix sponsored by Mercedes Benz.
SCENE 6: We see a small light flickering
in the center of the screen, and we hear a ceremonial Indian drum beating
and as we zoom in we realize we are on the top of a mountain bluff out
west and two people are sitting around a fire. It is Cam and the famous
Apache racing techno-shaman, Wind in Face. We see Cams face
flickering with fire and his eyes begin to close.
It is Rome 100 AD and Cam dressed
as a chariot racer is checking out his horses. He gets into the chariot
and takes his place on the line, and with the trumpet blaring, the race
begins, and we are in the middle of the Ben Hur race,(watch the movie)
and Cam is struggling to stay in the race, and as he rounds a bend his
chariot flips over and is crashing.
Cam opens his eyes, and looks at Wind in
Face, who is smiling, and says, "Left hand turns in a chariot are
a bitch".
SCENE 7: We are back in the Wrencher
Brigade and we see General Steward meeting with the Wrencher brothers,
and saying, "Time is running out. The situation is almost explosive.
If we dont have those vehicles ready in two days, it may be too
late. The Pentagon is counting on us to rescue the Vice President, and
without those vehicles, the mission is impossible".
SCENE 8: Cam is standing on the back
of a black stallion and is blind folded, and trying to keep his balance.
Wind in Face makes a clicking sound and the horse starts to walk and Cam
falls off. Wind in Face picks him up and says...."You are out of
balance. You must learn to feel your connection...you must become the
horsepower".
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