Ms.TRIODE GUILD® 2001

After my first sexual encounter with an alien breeder that looked just like Rita Hayworth…I got depressed because I could no longer have sex with human females…and chances are I would never repeat the experience I described in my article DR. GIZMO'S SEX SCANDAL.

It was getting very dark and dismal. It got so bad that I was thinking of ordering a Bose Wave Radio/CD system that promised "No Compromises" and is highly recommended by Popular Science magazine. Then I got a call from Steeplechase Jack, the leader of the aliens, who said…

"I feel your broken heart Giz..so I have a suggestion…let's hold a beauty contest among all of the alien breeders on earth, and this will (1) give you chance to meet more beaudacious aliens, and (2) create a beauty contest to establish Ms. Triode Guild, as your spokeswoman".

Now do you know why I claim that aliens have much higher intelligence than human males?

When I was a professional photographer I was hired to produce a "Western Calender" whose design theme was cowboys and nude women. This meant I had to audition lots of models in their birthday suit, and to be honest, I didn't enjoy the process. I didn't even enjoy the photography sessions, though all of my friends were ready to pay me to be my assistant. I was uncomfortable, embarrassed and couldn't get my Woody Allen type fantasy out of my mind.." I was in a butcher shop…looking at naked women…ordering them by the pound".

So when Steeplechase Jack told me that I had to go through the same type of audition process with alien breeders…because it was my responsibility…I was not happy. No pain, no gain…so in spite of my discomfort I auditioned hundreds of alien breeders in their "human birthday suit", and after weeks of torture, reviewing their nude pictures…I picked Fifi L'Amour, as the winner, and it shouldn't surprise you that she looks very much like Rita Hayworth.

Age: 3,345,612, which proves, once again, that older women, like a fine cigar and wine..get better with age.

Statistic: 36-20-33, 0-60 3.8 seconds, .598 batting average. Alien breeders are capable of much higher performance than human females.

Job: Fifi works as a dance instructor and masseuse at MENSA, (www.mensa.org) because it is often the case that people with extraordinarily high IQ get disconnected from their body's truth.

Favorite Hobby: Bullfrog racing.

Favorite Comic Book Character: Shmoos

Favorite Tube: PX 25

Favorite Amplifier: Push/pull PX 25

Favorite Speaker: Notre Dame Cathedral

Favorite Music: A thunder storm

1. NO MORE DUMB BORING AUDIO PRESENTATIONS:

Have you ever attended one of those really dumb boring audio presentations by a manufacturer at an audio club or dealer? I have, and I have made lots of those dumb boring presentations ..NO MORE.

From now on all of my public presentations will include Ms. Triode Guild who will do exotic dances…and inspire the audience in those ways that deeply affect the male soul.

2. PRODUCT PRESENTER AND ENDORSER:

The new Triode Guild T-Shirt collection will be available soon, and I need a "Victoria Secret Type" with real expertise with tube circuits.

3. CHAT ROOM AGIGITATOR:

How would you like to ask a beaudacious alien breeder questions about tube circuits..or life?

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