THE BLACK HOLE AMPLIFIER
In the mid 1980s the mega-amplifier wars were raging, and, as you
know, I am very competitive, and I wasn't going to let some mealy
minded designer of sand amps win the war, so I invented the world's
only amplifier that was powerful enough to accurately reproduce
the Voice of God, in the denomination of your choice.
This amplifier, as you can tell
from the picture was huge
.six stories high, and boasted some
very unusual features
just to name a few:
You notice a 90 mm Howitzer Canon
on top of the amplifier next to the tubes
this is the output
stage protection device, and prevents any enemy planes from attacking.
The cooling tower not only keeps
the output tubes running at the proper temperature but also provides
the liquidity for the midrange and the speedboat you notice at the
base of the amp.
All of the dials permit the owner
to select the religious experience of his choice.
If you are looking for me, I
am the figure in the lower right hand corner.
Able to produce 10 million
watts into 0 ohms from DC to light, at minus 10%
total harmonic distortion , this amplifier is a bargain at $267
This amplifier can not be sold
in California because of pollution laws because it is powered by its
own surplus US Navy submarine nuclear reactor.
You should be aware that The
Black Hole eats big transistor amplifier for snacks at 3PM every day,
with ten thousand gallons of fresh milk.
If you are a man who must own
absolutely the most powerful amplifier, or if you are using some of
those very popular 0 ohm speakers, this is the amp for you.
A small down payment of $1 million
in unmarked bills in a brown shopping bag, or
why not charge
it on your credit card?
Be the first on your block to
own a Black Hole Amplifier.
This amplifier received RECOMMENDED
COMPONENT by the Pope, the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, and Wanantankah.
Schematic available on request.