DR. GIZMO REVEALS ANOTHER

DIRT CHEAP HOT AUDIO TRICK

 

Before I was born, I was a hunter, because male DNA is hunter's DNA. Because the only accurate existential description of the audio arts is that it is music hunting. Our ferocity in hunting for beauty is now explained. How do hunters pass on their folk wisdom?

Because I am a renowned authority on the paradoxes of hunting DNA, let me ask you a QUESTION that may cause insomnia: What kind of hunter is searching for a de-material three dimensional trophy illusion which is a quantum representation of his consciousness?

ANSWER: the man who is burdened with the most recent and advanced mutation of hunter DNA…YOU..the gifted listener… who is creating an art form that has no substance…is a complete illusion. Our hunter bros' painted on cave walls with pigment. We are painting on our cave walls, but this time we are using illusion. Can you get weirder or higher than that?

Talk about cool. Consider the magnitude of your beaudacity : if you reading this rage you are one tortured dude, and that is the point…being a skilled hunter is not easy. It is extremely demanding. Compare hunting for a grizzly aural matrix, to shopping for a CD player…which is more exciting? We hunters must study the details of our prey very carefully. Our tools must work perfectly. We have to keep our senses and agility at the highest level of awareness. We must be intuitive and persevere, and most importantly because the game we are pursuing is much bigger and more powerful than we are, we must have cunning.

To fulfill my tribal responsibility to our young, brave and beaudacious, I shall reveal one more of my cunning audio hunting tricks.

HOT GLUE, LIKE YOU

As a cunning young hunter I recognized that my mother, who was an artist, had a valuable skill …she was into the hot glue gun in very creative ways. I don't think there was anything that she didn't try to stick together in her search for a new objet d'art. For a professional gizmologist, work with audio gizmos would be impossible without the hot glue gun. The tube savant must master two different weapons…the hot soldering iron, the hot glue gun…and it is the responsibility of every father to teach their son how to use these tools.

TUBE CREATION OF CEREMONIAL TRIBAL GARB: This is the secret substance for creating Tube Crowns, and attaching tubes to your clothes, hats, condoms, furniture. To impress your fellow workers hot glue a tube to a tie. If you are single and hanging out at bars, hot glue a tube to each of your collar points…and check out what happens.

VINYLMANIACS MANNA: Nothing is better for attaching your phono cartridge to your headshell in terms of 100 percent mechanical connection. Make sure the glue is super hot so you only have to use a very ULTRA thin layer. Press the cartridge body to the tonearm with great force. Hot glue is also one of the best tuning materials for the Decca cartridge. Any moving magnet cartridge that has a removal stylus…use a tiny glob of hot glue to the side of cartridge body where the removable style makes contact with the magnet structure. What is so cool about hot glue is you can easily pop it free. Use hot glue on your tone arm as dampening…try bands and spots. A few tiny dabs will keep your record mat in place. Why is hot glue such a great dampening device? Drop a stick and see how dead it is, and it perfectly bonds to the surface it is applied to.

SPEAKERMANICS. Use for attaching felt to your speaker faces. Use for building your external passive crossovers. Hot glue on film capacitors can make them sound better. Use to attach better dampening material to the inside of your speaker cabinets.

LINE STAGES/PHONO SECTIONS: If you are going to retro-fit grid chokes, or plate chokes, or capacitors, hot glue can be sued to them in place either on the chassis or PC board.

DIY PROJECTS: Key your soldering iron and your hot glue gun hot, because you can use that hot and sticky stuff to keep wires, parts and connections in their places. I use to keep heavy parts, like plate chokes, the interstage transformers in place while I am building my prototypes.

 


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