Dr. Harvey "Gizmo" Rosenberg
Guildmeister of The Triode Guild
The Digital Devil
Grand Wazir of Speakermaniacs
Techno-Shaman of Coolosity, Positive-Feedback Magazine
Fashion and Beauty, Editor, Listener Magazine
Game Warden, Vacuum Tube Valley Magazine
The Bruce and Seventh Earl Clan Mc Tannoy
Mayor, Vinylville, USA.
Publisher and CEO, Potty Publishing Co.
Understanding Tube Electronics
The Search for Musical Ecstasy
Next President of the United States of America
INTRODUCTION TO THE TRIODE GUILD WEB SITE
If you look at your map you will discover that The Triode Guild is located in Triodeville, and this thermionic Xanadu is situated at the base of the three great mountains, Mt. Push/Pull, Mt. Single-Ended, and Mt. OTL. When flying over Triodeville you will notice The Triode Guild Astronomic Audio Observatory, and our airfield from which we launch our XH-1 dirigible, which is part of SETMI, the Search for Extraterrestrial Musical Intelligence. There you see the large Alnico gates of our town, and those very large old buildings are Triode Guild quarters.
As the Guildmeister of the Triode Guild I have a responsibility to warn you. The minute you walk through our 16 Ohm Alnico Gates, you are leaving the "normal" world of warm and fuzzy high end audio behind. Think of our clan as audio Green Berets or Jesuits...we are on the edge because at the edge life is most interesting. We are not looking to recruit the many, just those who need to dance on the fire coals of musical ecstasy. If you are curious about the technology that induces divine madness, then proceed.
The only thing we recommend is a process of self-discovery through the audio arts; a deep personal trip to discover your Wholey Dudeness. Or, think of this trip as discovering what is true about your heart, so that you can then express your own unique musical genius....be brave, donıt be ashamed if it is bizarre, eccentric and unexplainable because at The Triode Guild we donıt need to fake our eccentric harmonic Whole-osity
This is a fair test of my success as thermionic techno-shaman: if you are shaken or upset by your visit to The Triode Guild then I have succeeded. If fires are burning more intensely in your loins, or if you are less inhibited in your dancing, then I have succeeded. Of course the ultimate test of my skill as Guildmeister is...does our religion make watermelon taste juicier, because you will never know The Way of The Triode until you have surrendered to the music juice that flows from your juice-epicenter...the juice that flows from a fresh picked warm ripe stolen summer evening cosmic watermelon....the musical juice that you were covered in when you were born: the juice of Alnico, triodes and silver.
There is no such thing as a neutral audio devices; never has never will be: every device has its own unique personality, i.e., coloration. Thank God that every gizmo is a compromise, because without that there would be no art. Perfection is the cancer of art, and only you know what price you are ready to pay; what compromises you will accept in your search for your musical ecstasy in your home. And donıt forget this truth: All audio systems are chaos system, and no one has ever measured an audio system making music, which simply means that we are dealing with very primitive subjective emotional values, and that means ONLY YOU are the authority on what type of beauty resonates within you. Of course that doesnıt mean that getting all of these gizmo to interact optimally is not important. It is absolutely essential, which is why we explore the art of audio alchemy...what equipment interacts with other equipment to produce magic. You will quickly discover that TUNING is the key to musical ecstasy...this is the active, ongoing, evolving process of tuning your harmonic to your systemıs harmonic, which in turn is tuned to a higher harmonic....this is harmonic whole-osity, and that canıt be bought, only discovered.
Think of The Triode Guild as a metaphoric music monastery of musically insane thermionic techno-shamans. Those who live, work and study here are members of an esoteric religious order who worship The One Harmonic Who is Many, whose Son, The Triode, first walked on earth in 1906. Rather than follow the sacred rituals of our brothers, the Jivaro Indians of the Brazilian rain forest, who ingest sacred power plants to gain higher forms of harmonic knowledge, we ingest... Alnico, directly heated triodes, and silver....but it is the same trip. Our cult encourages visitors to explore our radical thermionic shamanism and discover what is relevant, and then dance to it and integrate what works into their wholey being...this is The Way of the One Harmonic Which is Many. It is the dance of the audio arts....it is the audio juicification process. (Note: Every initiate in our clan must spend many hours in our music vineyard squeezing ripe music to learn the subtle taste of authentic musical metaphors, so they will no longer be fooled by the artificially flavored accuracy.)
All of the members of the Triode Guild believe that the home music environment offers greater possibility of musical relatedness than a live concert, and explains why the audio artification process is such an important pursuit, and why I am so demanding of our young braves, the young audio artists, in our tribe....they must carry the filamentary flame of the future.
DR. GIZMO'S BAT EAR TRANSPLANT
Let's face it, where ever men hang out there will be competition. It is an imperative of hundreds of million years of evolution. Not only is competition inevitable and mechanism of DNA's evolution, but the basis for America's largest entertainment business...sports...from bowling to auto racing. Even nerds, like us audiomaniacs, love to compete.
Before I entered the audio business, and after years of experimentation, it was obvious to me that in the audio arts refined hearing was a more powerful competitive tool than sophisticated engineering. In fact, I believed, at the time, that there was a direct relationship between sophisticated engineering and mediocre sound.
So, because I too am competitive and wanted to be a winner I pondered what strategy I could execute to give me the "winner's edge". It finally arrived in 1980 in Switzerland.
On the way home from a European business meeting my plane was held over at the Basel Airport, and I found myself sitting next to The Eternal Bronzed One, George Hamilton, who I engaged in conversation. As you know George takes yearly pilgrimages to a Swiss Clinic to be rejuvenated with consists of blooding cleaning, hormone injections and other procedures that are completely illegal in America. The rich and the famous regularly deposit wads of their cash with Swiss doctors who have figured out eternal youth and health.
When George learned of my passion for music he told me that he knew a doctor that specialized in "expanded hearing" and gave me his number.
One year later I was in a Swiss Clinic getting prepared for surgery. In my pre-op procedure Dr. Smalz told me that there would be a period of adjustment of about one month where I would be very confused because of my advanced hearing sensitivity, but soon I would start filtering out irrelevant sensations.
My friends thought I was nuts to spend $50,000 to have an Amazon bat ear transplant, but I thought this was much cheaper than spending $1,000,000 on a sophisticated research facility for New York Audio Labs, and would give me a unique competitive edge.
When the bandages were removed from my ears I screamed in pain because a nursed down the hall dropped a Q-tip. I was in excruciating pain during recovery because the sound of dandruff falling on peopleıs shoulders was deafening. The roar of dust balls under the hospital beds prevented me from sleeping, but the doctor was right, and after a month I started to adjust, and have lived happily ever after.
This is the first time I have publicly revealed this medical procedure, and felt with men and our President behaving badly that, as the Guildmeister, I had to set the standards for open, honest dialogue.
What does this mean for you, and whose judgments can you trust? In no way does my advanced level of hearing sensitivity diminish the "human" evaluations that other audio reviewers create. Their work and insight is important for ³normal² men, but if you want to tune into a higher dimension of music...well you know who to trust. Of course you now have a complete explanation of why I am exploring the Nth Dimension of Music Hyperspace, have a relationship with Fritz, The Audiomaniac Vampire, my bat bro', have launched SETMI and Extraterrestials reach out to me. On a mano y mano level, what this means is that I can listen to your audio system, even though it is five thousands miles away....but be warned...I can also hear that fluff in your belly button...so before you ask me for an opinion...clean out your belly button.
But what is the greatest joy of having had a bat ear transplant? On a summer's night, in total darkness, hanging upside down in a tree, I can snatch grasshoppers with my tongue, while listening to Bach playing his harpsichord in Heaven.
COPYRIGHT/TRADEMARK NOTICE: ALL THE ARTICLES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEB SITE ARE COPYRIGHTED OR TRADEMARKED BY HARVEY "GIZMO" ROSENBERG AND MAY NOT BE USED OR REPRODUCED WITH HIS PERMISSION. VIOLATORS WILL RECEIVE HIS WRATH.
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