"Gizmo," age six, contemplating male mythology and the archetypes of transfor mation that have endured the toxic effect of post industrial capitalist ideology, while smoking on his father's pipe and wearing his authentic Roy Rogers cow boy suit.
Because the rumors you heard about me
may or may not be true here is the real story..
I was born in India, in a very small village, in 194I, one week before the start of W.W.II. My original parents, who were elephant tamers on the estate of the fabulously wealthy Maharaja of Gingapoor, abandoned me as a one year old child in the jungle, because with fourteen other mouths to feed, I was a burden. Not by accident, I was found and raised by a wolf clan. The same wolf clan that raised Rudyard Kipling's Mowgli.
As you know, according to Sigmund Freud, the first ten years of life are the most formative, in terms of our personality, and running, hunting, and living in a cave, with my wolf clan, was a much better education than going to nursery school. I especially loved learning how to howl to the full moon. Let me assure you that this "abnormal" childhood, deeply affected my adult world view for the better.
I was then found in the jungle, when I was about five, and adopted, by two Americans, Helen and Henry Rosenberg, who loved traveling to India to buy Madras Bermuda shorts, at below wholesale prices. I was taken back to Brooklyn, where my new parents were only partially successful at taming and house breaking their "wild child". This also explains why I had such a strong bond with all the dogs in my neighborhood. By the time I was thirteen, and a man, you could take me to Macy's, blindfold me, spin me around one hundred times, and I could find the scent of the biggest bargain in the store. My abnormal hunting powers brought me great prestige in my tribe.
A near fatal bicycle accident (in fact caused by aliens who were using me as a channel) , and a fractured skull, at age thirteen, left me with very sensitive hearing and lasting symptoms of brain damage i.e., abnormal ways of thinking. I discovered that I now had alien psychic powers; I could tell what gizmos the future would bring, and could write about and design gizmos in my dreams. During my hospital recuperation I discovered that certain things could speak to me. Of course nothing changed the fact that I still had the senses of a wolf-boy which made me very sensitive to aroma of females, barbecue steak, and music.
At age fourteen my family moved away from Brooklyn, and to the wild suburbs of Long Island, where, during high school, I was initiated into the way of the sacred male totem and learned all about cars, tube electronics, hunting and fishing. Upon graduation from high school I went off to the Wharton School of Business to learn how to transform gizmos into gold.
Between 1965 and 1990, without knowing why at the time, I seriously explored many of the earthly manifestations of alien intelligence from levitation to, OTL amplifiers, thermionic techno-shamanism, to psychoanalysis in the hope of understanding the strange messages I was channeling through my wide bandwidth receiver.
About twenty years ago, I met George Hamilton (not by accident) in Switzerland, and he introduced me to his Swiss doctor who could "do anything" and I had him perform a bat ear transplant, which dramatically improved my already extremely sensitive hearing. About two years ago I went back to the same Swiss doctor and had a Tennessee Bloodhound's nose transplant to improve my already heightened sense of smell and to help me earn some extra cash hunting down escaped convicts and to be able to find my date while crawling around on the floor of very large and crowded after hours club in the dark.
Now you know why my abnormal "alien" senses" compel me to evaluate audio equipment and circuits from a completely "alien" point of view.
To some it may matter that I started New York Audio Laboratories, and became "an audio savant", and pioneered manufacturing OTL amplifiers in 1982 (using Julius Futterman's circuit, the father of OTL amplifiers) and the first to develop hybrid tube/fet amplifiers in 1984 .but don't forget these achievements were not really mine, but those of an alien intelligence that was using me to elevate earthling's musical consciousness. Others may think that my famous inventions matter. To some it may matter that I convinced Mikhail Gorbachev to create the Soviet Union's first Christmas celebration with America. Other may consider my short reign as CEO of the Indian Motorcycle Company important, or my work as top management in public companies. In fact the only thing that matters is my two decade's success at convincing thousands of my musicmaniac bros' to expand their musical consciousness, using the best tools possible tube gear.
As you know from reading my articles, one night, a few years ago, while eating a lean pastrami sandwich at Katz Deli on Houston Street (an alien entry port), in New York City , the seeming strangeness and chaos of my life, for the first time, all made sense to me because I made real contact with the leaders of the music aliens on Earth, STEEPLECHASE JACK, who told me the true story of my life, and how they were using me to channel info to humans
Did I mention that I was married and divorced four hundred times mostly to humans as part of my purification process? Here is some real guy info: I haven't had sex with human females in two years not since I started to have sex with "alien breeders", who were introduced to me by the music alien's leader on Earth, Steeplechase Jack.
What is the point of all of this? Nothing on the Meta-Gizmo web site is my original creation I have recently discovered that I am, and have always been, just a channel for an alien form of intelligence and much of what I reveal comes to me in a dream meaning I haven't a clue about what I have written, until after I wake up and look at the computer file and wonder "Who wrote that" or "What does that mean?". The same thing applies to my invention which always first appear in a dream.
Now you know why I say DREAMS HAVE POWER.
HOW DID DR. GIZMO GET HIS DOCTOR DEGREES and TITLES?
As you know, every boy raised in the Jewish faith is under tremendous pressure to grow up and become a doctor but that was not my path. I wanted to be, a cowboy, or a gizmologist.
In the 1970s, when I was a wild and crazy bachelor; when sex, drugs and rock and roll, was running rampant in New York City, I decided that there were many advantages to going on a first date dressed like a doctor with white doctor's coat, stethoscope, and a doctor's bag. I even had a prescription book printed up with my name so I could prescribe a hot bath and massage, after dinner. I wore a button down Brooks Brothers shirt and a bow tie. I knew this tribal costume would have a very powerful effect on single women who were looking for a husband. I also offered my dates free gynecological examinations .after dinner. It was obvious that anyone who wore a white doctor's coat, could be trusted. This, once again, proved to me the power of tribal garb. Grunt if you understand this tribal impulse?
Recognizing that most men respond to "authority figures" I decided to make the difficult job of changing your mind easier, by accepting the first honorary doctorate degree from the American University of Gizmology (which I created). I am the first man to receive the very prestigious PhG Doctor of Gizmology.
Like you, I watch the endless parade of really dumb award ceremonies on television, and thought it was time to award myself another degree, so I received the worlds first MDh: Major Dickhead .which is a lot like being a doctor, only different.
Now you know why "Dr." appears in front of my name. As for my other titles:
Guildmeister of the Triode Guild is obvious
Thermionic Techno-Shaman anyone who uses tube to transport humans to higher dimension of reality gets this title.
CEO, Potty Publishing Company: This is a major innovation in electronic publishing, because all of my books are free to those who know the right place to study.
Bruce, and Seventh Earl of Clan Mc Tannoy: Tannoy speaker company awarded me the prestigious title of,, for being a white knight in the concentric crusade.
Mayor of Vinylville USA: It was a close election, and I had to spend millions of very soft money to win but I am proud that I can serve the musicmaniacs who live and work in the grooviest city in America.
Grand Wazir of Speakermaniacs: The Sultan of Kibosh awarded me this title for my service in raising the public's awareness of just how complex the amplifier/speaker interaction really is and for my campaign to raise efficiency and to improve speaker magnet and crossover quality.
Periodically, I will be awarding myself other prestigious awards and titles because men love awards, medals and titles .and I want to be just like those award programs on television, that make me puke.
WHY I HAVE SO MANY ENEMIES WHICH IS A GOOD THING: Students of history know that anyone who is a revolutionary is asking for trouble. In an audio industry that is predicated on the lowest IQ, inaccurate description of the audio arts and how audio gear works, I am honored that so many want me to take a long walk on a short pier because if that weren't true I would be doing my job right.NOTE: To clear up any confusion I don't just create "music" amplifiers check out my daily driver car, the top secret XTSAVNATOGPS41....a wheeled amplifier.
e-mail Dr. Harvey "Gizmo" Rosenberg: email@example.com
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