DR. GIZMO REVEALS ONE OF HIS SECRETS
THE BEST $1 AMPLIFIER IN THE WORLD:
THE CHARLES FORSTER WOODEN AMPLIFIER
As the meta-gizmo web site evolves and is being surfed by more wholey men, a question is appearing in my mail box more often. You want to know how I can be so prolific. The answer is simple: (1) Like rust, I never sleep, (2) I am a professional gizmologist, who has practiced, practiced and practiced, which has taught me creative efficiency, but most importantly (3) I know what tools to use to tune my mind to its highest possible creative resonance, because when I am at this higher level of tune my best thoughts emerges.
This "tuning for higher performance mind " is an ancient task, because we all know to be at the peak of our game we have to get into our groove .. and being in the groove means that we need exactly the right tool to release our genius whether that is a bow and arrow, speaker, baseball bat, golf club, race car, skis, fishing rod. How many man hours are expended each year searching for the optimal tuning fork so we can achieve optimal performance?
So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that if you have found your perfect tuning fork, the perfect meta-gizmo, then your mind, like Keith Richard's guitar, or Barry White's piano, is in optimal tune. I found an extremely effective mind tuning fork years ago and am sharing this secret with you.
The tool that expands and opens the faucet on my creative juices is a Forster wooden toothpick. A box of 250 cost about $1, and I always have either the round or the square variety in my mouth while I am working .at my best. Let me say that again: I can purchase 250 perfect mind tuning forks, meta-gizmos of a high order, for only $1. That means each cost me one fourth of one penny. Can you top that bargain in amplifiers? This is much cheaper than buying brand new Ferrari, Cigarette Speed Boat, a Harley Davidson motorcycle, or a new triode amplifier. And in many substantial ways a Forster Toothpick is more effective .because of its simplicity.
I was initiated into higher toothpick consciousness by my father, who in turn learned the ancient toothpick meditation from his father. In fact, in my family tree, I can trace a higher sense of toothpick consciousness right back to the Stone Age, before writing and television, when my relatives were in the hunting and barbecue business.
But stop reading now, because I am an experiential type of guy. All of my writing and work is a challenge to expand your experience of the Wholey World so now go down to your local supermarket and buy one of each: a box of round, and a box of square Forster toothpicks. The reason you need one of each is because they tune our brains differently, in a very subtle way and it matters. There is ancient wisdom about toothpicks that is well know: Do not use a round toothpick on a first date, or you will be easily seduced and loose all self-respect. Do not use a round toothpick while herding sheep because wolves are terrified of square ones. Wear a square toothpick around your neck to protect yourself from Vampires at barbecue because they are more effective than silver bullets and garlic. Never offer a toothpick to a stranger on a camel.
Okay, now that you have a toothpick in your mouth, go back and re-read this article and you will immediately notice how different it feels it is richer, more authentic, more stimulating .you will feel deeply moved in a way that you haven't experienced since the first time you ate chocolate ice cream This is not by accident .and perhaps only a thermionic techno-shaman can understand how something so small can be so effective at expanding our state of awareness.
Fact: When we put the right piece of wood in our mouth the chemistry of our brain changes. When we put a small piece of wood in our mouth we engage, even if it is unconsciously, in an ancient ritual which boots up our mind to a higher state for quite a while. A small sliver of wood in our mouth affects our brain waves in the same way that music, sex, a perfectly barbecued steak, a trout stream, a V-10 Dodge Viper motor, affects our brain we feel righter we feel more Wholey and remember it is impossible to get near Holiness until your are Wholey which explains why the world's spiritual leaders love toothpicks.
Your scratching your butt and thinking ."I knew that", and you are right. This toothpick wisdom is as basic to American male spiritual health as beer, sports, cars, television and Playboy Magazine. The toothpick ritual is practiced tens of millions of time every day and is well known by millions of American men, but let me go further .
Start listening to music with a wooden toothpick in your mouth and there will be an immediate expansion in your aural matrix.
Which brings me back to my message about meta-gizmos it is not the size of the gizmo, but the size of the spirit in the gizmo, that makes it a meta-gizmo. Why is the toothpick meditation universal? Answer: It is the pleasure of paradox that something so small can be so effective in elevating and transforming our being.
From this day forward keep Forster by your computer. When you go to a party take some with you. Want to impress a women? Give her a toothpick. Then immediately engage her in a conversation about her favorite toothpick memories. Need to give a gift to someone who matters a great deal to you don't give more than a box of Charles Forster toothpicks, because anything else would be less. Am I suggesting when your parents or girlfriend or fellow work has a birthday you should give them a box of toothpicks. You betcha!
I also think that toothpick consciousness may be reaching a spiritual apogee because I can feel that we are finally moving away the purely material expression of love. Giving gifts to our loved ones is always so awkward because no gift can express our deepest emotions. That is why giving a box of toothpick is the higher ground it is filled with purer spirit; it rises above the purely material and brings you and your loved one into an ancient web of life . Expressions of love are always best when they expand our vision .and how can you go wrong for $1?
If you wife is having a birthday, don't get her a new BMW, or diamond pin ..If your boss has just won an award and you want to express your deep respect ..if you want to show all of your employees how important they are just give a box of all natural wooden toothpicks .more is less.
Are Charles Forster toothpicks the finest in the world? I have to answer this question in a forthright way: You have two choices you either savor Charles Forster Toothpicks, which you can get at your supermarket, or you go the "Custom Shops" route where you can taste hundreds of different rare woods and then have a "small batch" produced for you at the average cost of between $250 to $500 a box. Connoisseurs with very sensitive palettes care, and I will always take out my silver toothpick holder after a glamorous dinner party and offer my fellow guests a vintage '54 Circasian Walnut toothpick which has exactly the flavor that Lawrence of Arabia prized so highly. The Circasian Mountains are in Turkey.
Now I will summarize the whole shabang: something as simple and old as a toothpick can be a meta-gizmo, so that is a good place to start your pilgrimage.
AN APOLOGY TO MY FRIENDS OUTSIDE THE USA.
I apologize to my friends who have no way of buying Charles Forster, Made In America, toothpicks. You may try other brands but you will be disappointed because the birch wood used in Charles Forster Toothpick was cut down by Paul Bunyon in the woods of Maine and no other wood, anywhere in the world, has the same flavor and spirit. In the same way Cuba has its cigars, and France has its wine, America has its wooden toothpicks.
My concern is that until you can legally buy these toothpicks in your country that an illegal underground network of toothpick smugglers will begin operation .satisfying your demand for mind elevating gizmos.
e-mail Dr. Harvey "Gizmo" Rosenberg: firstname.lastname@example.org
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